Jeg har fået et eksklusivt interview med rigmanden Donald Trump, efter at han i dag tilsyneladende led et nederlag, da Obama-administrationen udleverede det store fødselscertifikat for Obama. (De har tidligere udleveret det lille men det var ikke godt nok.)
Leoparddrengen: Mr Trump, first of all, let me congratulate you on last weeks acquisition of the Danish blockbuster-party, Newly Liberal Alliance!
Donald Trump: You're welcome!
LPD: Now, I imagine you may be dismayed at todays news from the White House?
DT: Not at all, not in the slightest!
LPD: How come?
DT: Well, it is really just a piece of paper, right? You could write anything on that?! Actually, it's not even a piece of paper, it's a file on a computer. You know how easy it is to fake such a thing? Have you checked the date on the file? It doesn't say 1961, it says 2011.
LPD: So you are saying the file is faked? Or the certificate is?
DT: I'm saying no such thing - I'm saying it could be! And I want to help the President clear this up, so we can focus on more important things, like tax cuts and removing the deadweight restrictions on the financial markets.
LPD: But... if the birth certificate is actually the genuine article - will you admit that Mr Obama is actually a born American?
DT: No! Most certainly not!!
LPD: Why is that?
DT: Well for one, his allegedly born in Hawaii - is Hawaii actually a part of US?
LPD: Well, it is one the fifty states...
DT: Is it? Or more to the point: was it - when Obama, allegedly(!), was born?
LPD: According to my information it became the 50th state on August 21, 1959? Two years before Obama was born?
DT: But did it? I mean, maybe there was some kind of law passed that day - but was it in effect in 1961? I'm not saying it wasn't - but these things have to be investigated.
LPD: But... for the sake of argument; if the birth certificate is true; if Hawaii was actually a US state - will you concede he is the legal President in that case?
DT: No, certainly not!
LPD: Whyever not?
DT: Because maybe his father was a terrorist!
LPD: Whatever gave you that idea?
DT: Well, why not. He was a Kenyan after all - you saw what they did to our embassy!
LPD: Have you any evidence whatsoever that Mr Obama's father was a terrorist?
DT: I'm not saying he was - I'm saying he might have been!
LPD: Even then - let's say Obama's father was a terrorist. That doesn't mean Obama can't be President...
DT: I'm not sure - it might...
LPD: How come?
DT: It might be written in an amendment. "No son of a terrorist shall ever set foot to become President of the U.S. of A" or something to that effect. I don't know. I'm just saying, it needs to be investigated. After all, if Obamas father is a terrorist, I think the American public has a right to know the truth!
LPD: Well, I think that more or less wraps things up. I can see where you stand. Just one thing... do per chance have dealings with Karl Rove? I think I recognize his style...
DT: Turdblossom? He's pissed... I'm using his material, but I'm not giving him credit. I'm the Ace in the Hole, the final Trump-card. And he can't do a thing about it. Rove: you're fired!!
Leoparddrengen: Mr Trump, first of all, let me congratulate you on last weeks acquisition of the Danish blockbuster-party, Newly Liberal Alliance!Donald Trump: You're welcome!
LPD: Now, I imagine you may be dismayed at todays news from the White House?
DT: Not at all, not in the slightest!
LPD: How come?
DT: Well, it is really just a piece of paper, right? You could write anything on that?! Actually, it's not even a piece of paper, it's a file on a computer. You know how easy it is to fake such a thing? Have you checked the date on the file? It doesn't say 1961, it says 2011.
LPD: So you are saying the file is faked? Or the certificate is?
DT: I'm saying no such thing - I'm saying it could be! And I want to help the President clear this up, so we can focus on more important things, like tax cuts and removing the deadweight restrictions on the financial markets.
LPD: But... if the birth certificate is actually the genuine article - will you admit that Mr Obama is actually a born American?
DT: No! Most certainly not!!
LPD: Why is that?
DT: Well for one, his allegedly born in Hawaii - is Hawaii actually a part of US?
LPD: Well, it is one the fifty states...
DT: Is it? Or more to the point: was it - when Obama, allegedly(!), was born?
LPD: According to my information it became the 50th state on August 21, 1959? Two years before Obama was born?
DT: But did it? I mean, maybe there was some kind of law passed that day - but was it in effect in 1961? I'm not saying it wasn't - but these things have to be investigated.
LPD: But... for the sake of argument; if the birth certificate is true; if Hawaii was actually a US state - will you concede he is the legal President in that case?
DT: No, certainly not!
LPD: Whyever not?
DT: Because maybe his father was a terrorist!
LPD: Whatever gave you that idea?
DT: Well, why not. He was a Kenyan after all - you saw what they did to our embassy!
LPD: Have you any evidence whatsoever that Mr Obama's father was a terrorist?
DT: I'm not saying he was - I'm saying he might have been!
LPD: Even then - let's say Obama's father was a terrorist. That doesn't mean Obama can't be President...
DT: I'm not sure - it might...
LPD: How come?
DT: It might be written in an amendment. "No son of a terrorist shall ever set foot to become President of the U.S. of A" or something to that effect. I don't know. I'm just saying, it needs to be investigated. After all, if Obamas father is a terrorist, I think the American public has a right to know the truth!
LPD: Well, I think that more or less wraps things up. I can see where you stand. Just one thing... do per chance have dealings with Karl Rove? I think I recognize his style...
DT: Turdblossom? He's pissed... I'm using his material, but I'm not giving him credit. I'm the Ace in the Hole, the final Trump-card. And he can't do a thing about it. Rove: you're fired!!
Ceterum censeo Facebook esse delendam.
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